I’ve been carrying a Pandora’s box of worries throughout the day;
I’m drowning even as I’m running to the car rushing off to the next obligation on my list of things to do.
It’s just a faint whisper of a voice that commands me,
but I allow myself to pause and abide at this moment.
I hear the wind brushing the cascade of leaves above,
I hear the fluttering flags, pulsating in the throb of each gust.
The texture of fibers, the crinkle, and crackle of the papers I am grasping.
It smells like April,
a sky pregnant with rain,
weekends reserved for musty bookshelves and warm snuggles.
I let myself cease at this moment that seems as if it could stretch into infinity.
But despite my best efforts, time trickles on,
The present will soon become the past,
the future holds out its hand expectantly.
So I sigh, expelling the foggy tension that had been stifling,
feel the steam levitating from my lungs, and track on.
Today, when you sat next to me,
I noticed you had tiny hairs on your chin and it made me smile.
You are a girl who isn’t looking for attention to be this close to her;
I imagine that you look into the mirror every morning with blessings on your mind and none of the complaints.
That night, I stared at myself in the mirror,
in my jean jacket and dress,
with my hair brushed back;
I almost looked like the kind of girl who would be brave enough to kiss you,
and you would kiss me back.
It is hardest to admit to ourselves,
That we are not always looking for love,
More than someone to fill up empty shelves,
An angel to rescue you from above,
You want someone who can say the right words.
But happiness should not be a person.
People may stay for awhile but like birds
Leave with seasons, your pain only worsens.
But who can blame you for loving wrongly,
When they make the sun rise and fall for you.
Hide your affections in secret calmly.
When the storm passes, the wind never blew.
You could stand there and nobody would know,
All the passions held in your heart that flow.