My Heart is Yours to Break

i discovered a little lie,
which turned out not so small.
 
i should have seen it coming,
but i’m too trusting.
 
i give out pieces of my heart like candy bars
 
passed easily into other people’s hungry hands
short lived and gobbled up so easily
 
but you know what?
it’s ok, my heart is yours to break.
 
for what is life without trusting, without loving, without hope?
nothing.
 
so its ok, lie to me all you want
at the end of each and every single day, i’ll still be here for you
 
while you spin your fairytale lies
yearning for affection, acclaim or respect
 
you’ll miss out on how real my love is for you.
because believe it or not,
 
you, without your stories and adventures, is just fine enough for me.
 
so i’ll keep saying it, it’s ok, love.
my heart has always been yours to break.

My Anxiety

my anxiety
it eats away at me

just because you can’t see it
doesn’t mean it’s not there

my anxiety
is a puppeteer,

telling me what i said the other day was a mistake
that nobody loves me
that i’m alone

my anxiety is real
as a cage around me
a blanket smothering out the good in my life

i am expected to keep up a facade of happiness
while darkness lurks just right beneath

each happy memory is outcasted by a strange reply
or an awkward moment

you tell me that my anxiety isn’t real
well, it’s as real as each invisible breath you take

we all have our own monsters to fight
and this one is mine.

Dance

I saw her dancing like there was no tomorrow while other’s looked on
People stared as she let her feet loose and her heart fly
darling,
i’ll tell you this
they are drawn to you like flies to light
your soul is a burning lighthouse in the angry dark sea
drowning boats are looking for some hope in the world
so let them stare baby
be the sun in this dark dark world
go dance for the whole universe to see.

Surprises in the Everyday

Hi guys! SO I found out my friend is basically an internet celebrity :0 yeah. You don’t realize THAT every day. She has 800,000 followers on tumblr. #goals. And the other day I saw a girl dancing to some music and everybody was staring because they thought she was weird. But there was something so novel and beautiful about her movement. So there are surprises every day and I should be coming up with a poem soon. It’s a good theme. Surprises in the Everyday.

Who you are.

I think the journey to self-identity is really hard and this is just a poem that I wrote in the mindset of if I were to talk to my future daughter. (I know I’m only 16, but hey, I’m a deep thinker. 😛 ) It carries a message of female empowerment and one also of hope that when the world hits you hard, “you are stronger than you realize”. ENJOY! (I don’t know anyone else besides my librarian who is seeing these poems, but I love you all!)


Who am I?

Let me tell you who you are
come closer my child and listen carefully

You, are made of pixie dust.

You are brave
You’re a tiny explorer to worlds unknown
No one can or will ever blaze the same trail you make
Or walk in the same steps you took

You are beautiful
Even though you may not think so
Each scar on your body, upon your mind,
A story that speaks in itself, a story that can never be swept away.

Though you are a small boat in a sea of indefinite blue
There is a lifeline of hope strung across your neck
Waves toss but you’re more deeply grounded that you realize
You are never really alone, centuries of past ages whisper to you

You are stronger than titanium
People tell you can’t speak out
That others won’t hear, or maybe you’re too afraid to speak
But here you are existing, each breath a shout of your existence. Defiance with each breathe.

You are a wonder
The fact that you exist in on a planet of 7 billion people
Yet nobody is quite like you
It’s a miracle

Oh yes you are pixie dust
Forged together by the most unique bond between two people
Your being, a mural of inexplicable design
A masterpiece full of the colors of the universe.

Baby, don’t let anyone tell you who you are.
Because you are your own person.
A force born of nature that can’t be stopped
So you’ll say, “Watch out world here I come.”

“You haven’t met the storm that’s me.”

Hate in America

There is so much hate in our country.
Everytime I turn on the news,
Another incident of police brutality
A hate crime
A mass shooting.
A homegrown terrorist attack

This whirlwind of bad things that somehow spin our moral compasses so that we can’t see straight anymore.

Good is bad and bad is good?
Police are shooting us instead of protecting us? Eric garner
We lower gun laws after mass shootings?
Even after parents appeal for better laws, a father is tearfully asking why the right to own a gun is more than his son’s right to his life. Sandy Hook Elementary

We throw around the words racist, rapist, yellow, nigger, dirty Mexican in people’s faces
And it closes the bridge of connection to another human being. We isolate ourselves and others.

We compare people to bags of candy and peanuts
As if life is not sacred, a living thing.

In this cycle of hate, that never ends.
Where humans infallibly seem to repeat history. Jewish refugees to Syrian refugees. War after war after war after war. The root of it, greed.

I live in a generation where we make videos on who is going to fall asleep first while watching the Vice Presidential debates. Because it’s really not a big deal who is going to take over of our country if our future president dies.
I keep asking myself what country do I live in?

We cry democracy, rights for the people
While at home we are buried in a dichotomy of republicans and democrats a system where we drown out the rest. There’s no chance of bringing a third party candidate to the presidential debates.
I can be gassed, shot, beat in ways not even allowed in war while I’m protesting peacefully on the street UNARMED.
Edward Snowden reveals how the government is violating our privacy and some of us think he is the creator of Wikileaks? A man who risked his life for our freedom is hiding in Russia.
Oh yes, listen to America, we have democracy we’ll teach you how to run your country.

We’ll take down your governments and implant our own dictators.
AS LONG AS IT ISN’T COMMUNISM. GOD FORBID.
And oh a war starts? Oh yes, we thrive on that. Hate.

In this age of general confusion, it’s hard to see the truth.
I don’t have the solutions to everything
But stay informed
Don’t ever lose sight of what you believe in because that is what this country was built upon
And once in awhile, restore your faith in humanity by talking to someone who shares a different view and look at how they are human just like you.

Break Me Down

Break me down
You fight me with your words
Tear my insecurities
Create lasting scars in my mind for all eternity

But I am strong.
Stronger than you could ever imagine
I keep quiet crying tears not of anguish
But of pain from holding in all the fire in my soul.

You curse me say I will never amount to anything
But just you wait.
You’ll watch me fly
And you will wonder.

So break me down
Go past my breaking points and destroy my limits
You are only making me stronger
So I can be free to reach higher

So high that your words and anger can’t touch me anymore.


Update:

Hi guys, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in forever. I hurts my heart 😦 I’ve been working on some poetry so I am going to post some here! I hope you guys like it. It’s all I can do in my free time for now and I apologize!